Now to start, I don’t mean sex. Well at least not this time. No, I want to talk about gay displays of public affection. This has resurfaced for me because I have recently started dating someone and we have been on a few dates and he appears to be seriously comfortable with having public displays of affection between us.
The thing is while I want to do it and see no reason why I shouldn’t, every time it happens I find myself gripped with an insane amount of fear. It’s not fear of the affection. It’s the fact that I know that it is in many cases a political act that brings its own risks. Or at least that is what it used to be. Now in our current society it should simply be a sign of affection.
So when my date tries to hold my hand or touch my arm or leg or tries to kiss me in public, my human instinct to survive kicks in and I try to overcome that by holding his hand and returning said kiss. But I want to know why I have this horrible instinct inside of me that when my date tries to show me displays of affection, my flight instinct kicks in and that I have t overcome that to feel safe and happy with him.
I will write a proper blog article about this at some point but considering I have just come back from a date where this happened, I felt I had to write something down to get these feelings out.