I recently watched the BBC Documentary, Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out on iPlayer. It is about Jesy Nelson, a member of Little Mix and her ordeal with bullying, trolling, a suicide attempt and her body image. It was an experience and it is definitely something I would recommend others to watch.
But the main reason I mention it is that it caused me to consider my own issues with my body image. For some time I have had concerns about the way my body looks. In fact for as long as I can remember I have had issues.
My Body Issues
- Lazy right eye
- Stigmatism with my eyes
- Drooping eyelids (once had corrective surgery when I was 17)
- Worn glasses since I was 19 months old
- Turned in ankles that make how I step look strange
Those are the issues I cannot control. And yet I have been bullied for some of them, especially in school. Not to the extent that I thought truly bothered me. However, when I am asked what part of my body I am most desperate to change, it would be my eyes.
It would be my terrible vision. It would certainly be the lazy right eye and the drooping eyelids. When in photos, especially selfies (ah the body image issues and the selfies… someone should explore that…) I try to hide the issues with my eyes as much as possible.
Should I look like Adonis?
Then there are the issues that I have some control over.
- Little to no muscle
- No abs
- No classic fitness goals
Now, the obvious answer to this is the eat healthily and to do exercise. That is what folks everywhere say to do. They even post all their gorgeous bodies all over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to prove that it is possible.
And I don’t help myself because it is fun looking at hot guys on Instagram. But it doesn’t help when it comes to my own body image because it causes me to feel inadequate. It makes me feel self-conscious. And it makes me feel weak.
But That is only occasionally. It isn’t a constant feeling I have. Most of the time, I don’t think about it. But when I do, it can hit hard. And the issues remains that if I sorted out my body to look like an Adonis, I would still have my hatred of my eyes to contend with.
I have no answers
At this point, I have no answers to this struggle, either for myself or for others. But I do recommend you look at yourself and work out what issues you have with your body and explore why you might have them.
Not in a negative sense, but as a way of trying to understand yourself better.