2015 is ending this night and it is a year to remember. It was the year of change for me. I made four New Year’s Resolution last year and this is the first year where I have achieved them all and many other things besides.
On this day, last year, I promised myself that I would start my career as a writer in a company as well as finishing the first draft of my novella and editing it. I said I would find a relationship and maybe even fall in love again. I promised I would make a real commitment to my fitness. And I said I would buy my own car.
I have achieved all of these things. Obviously there were obstacles during the journey, but hey, who doesn’t like a good obstacle to kick the crap out of.
The first was my aim to get a job. I will be honest at the start of the year, I was a mess. I had quit my job in retail in November and was looking for a job where I could use my degree (both of them). However I was also looking for a car salesman job because I had an interest in cars and thought after working in retail I could be good at it. But that really was just my back up plan, although I did get very close to achieving that job.
But before that, I found a job as a marketer and applied for that. I went for two interviews and got the job. However this was direct marketing, which simply translates into door-to-door sales. Now then, first a bit of honestly, this is not an industry to be scorned at, because from my small glimpse I saw massive potential. Except that potential is very much only for a small minority of people. 95% of people who got the job before and after and during my month there will do as I did and drop out. It is a horrible job, for horrible commission under horrible circumstances and in that month I wrecked my already poor finances.
I left that company and I had worked, basically 12-15 hour days on commission for almost 27 days straight. I was exhausted, ill and very much causing social and family issues by continuing that job.
So I went on job seekers allowance or Universal Credit, which if anyone ever tells you is a lot or even enough to live on, they are talking shit and do not know what they are talking about, because it is a pitiful amount of money.
I had two interviews for Robin and Day Peugeot and came extremely close to either getting a junior salesman job at either the Liverpool or Preston branch. However I thankfully got a job as a content writer and SEO trainee at my current company in Blackburn and so started my career in marketing.
Ever since I truly had a sexual awakening and became interested in people sexually, I have had the resolution every year of finding a real relationship.
Now I’ve had short tries with three girls and a rather serious but short one with another guy and a four year sex fling with my first guy, but I have never really had what you could call serious. I have only fallen in love once and that was because of the long timing and the fact he was my first, but there was no commitment there.
This year that changed. And I’ll be honest, in hindsight, this won’t appear to be any different than my short tries with the women, except there was one major exception.
In the time between April and September, I fell in love with a guy who was in the closet. It was good, but it also ended just before I went away to Cornwall for my holiday. He ended it by text after two weeks of basically avoiding and ignoring me.
I learnt a few lessons from that relationship. Time does not affect or matter when concerning the effects of the heart (just look at Shakespeare). Dating a closet case is hard, but also humbling. Being a now out gay can make you forget what it was like to be in the closet and to see someone again struggle with that takes you realise that you have to be patient with them.
So this is the year I really started to get back into shape. I have been at it since May and I am seeing progress, but this is never a short journey. I will be continuing this into the new year and hopefully for the rest of my life.
It has also renewed my focus on my fencing. Both my technique and fighting as well as my coaching. Time to see what becomes of it in the New Year.
Ever since I achieved my job, I have been planning to get a car. I hate travelling on buses. They are unreliable, expensive for what you have to endure and rather uncomfortable.
I therefore decided I was going to get a car and yesterday all was set in place. I am now the owner of a white Ford Fiesta Zetec. And I will be taking it for its maiden drive as my vehicle on New Year’s Day.
2016 New Year’s Resolutions
For 2016, I don’t know what I want yet.
I aim to finish the editing of my novella and try to get it published. But beyond that, I have yet to decide on my goals for this coming year.