If illness does not disprove the existence of God to you, it should at the very least make you question your devotion to him. Last weekend, I was ill. It was something very minor, which lasted a few days. It was a real annoyance and a horrible experience. Nowhere near as horrible as the heart attack my aunt suffered, or the stroke my great-aunt suffered or the breast cancer my godmother is currently dealing with. Now with these illness striking my family, I have heard much talk of prayers and praying. I do after all come from a religious family.
I’m sorry, but if for a moment I forsake my entire sense of reason and accept the existence of God as set down in the various Holy books that can’t be opened because of the gallons of blood that soak them over the centuries, the cognitive dissonance of a true believer is astounding. When prayers seem to work (they never do by the way) also known as something positive occurs it’s all “thank the Lord for he is good”.
It all comes from him!
Well, guess what? The all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing God that controls everything and everything happens according to his will and plan, caused every little terrible thing in your life. He caused your loved ones to suffer and die from some of the most heinous diseases and illness on this planet (which surely he created if he created everything?) including heart disease, malaria, strokes, cancer and so on. He is behind the deaths you have endured, the anxiety that riddles your mind, the depression that eats away at you, the oppression you have suffered and every other terrible thing emanates from him.
And yet you continue to love and praise him. You devote your lives to worshipping him.If you choose to believe in him and choose to devote your lives to him, you are engaging in celestial sado-masochism. You choose to love a being that tortures you throughout the life with vague promises of eternity with him in heaven.
It sounds like a domestic abuse relationship
Here are some of the warning signs for domestic abuse.
- Constant put-downs – Well calling you a sinner constantly counts.
- Hypercriticism – Claiming you will never be perfect for God again sounds about right.
- Refusing to communicate – Don’t think he’s called in 2000 years
- Ignoring or excluding you – Don’t do what he wants and you are not going to heaven.
- Extramarital affairs – How many religions does one God need?
- Unreasonable jealousy – If he can’t have you…
- Extreme moodiness – He may just drown the earth apparently or send 10 punishments…
- Saying “I love you but…” – God loves that one… I love you but you have to fear me.
- Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.” – All of his rules
- Domination and control – Tick
- Withdrawal of affection – Tick
- Guilt trips – Christian guilt especially Catholic Guilt is a thing
- Making everything your fault – He made everything, but it is your fault everything is wrong with the world
This may sound harsh, but religion and your relationship with God ticks off many of the things that we would constitute a domestic relationship. Maybe it is time you question that devotion you have for him. Like I did when it nearly drove me to suicide over my sexuality.