Imagine Sex Differently – I Do

Imagine Sex Differently – I Do

Sex fascinates us. It makes us horny, excited, nervous and creative. We want to talk about it, hear gossip about it, watch it, but society deems it semi-taboo, resulting in plenty of innuendoes, secrecy and mistakes.

Sex is one of the keys that bind us together. It creates families, builds relationships and consummates marriages. It is the physical embodiment of the love between couples. By remaining sexually faithful to a single partner, you are demonstrating commitment and passion.

Not quite.

Sex is a physical activity

Nothing more. It delivers two things to humanity. Procreation and pleasure. As an animal species, we need sex to continue our existence, and the pleasure ensures we enjoy that task. As animals, that is all sex is. That is why you see other species randomly fucking whenever they fancy it.

We are a more consciences species and choose to add extras to everything we do. To a purely, the physical act of sex we have added romance, love, rules and conditions, which most likely dates back to a time when creating a family was a survival instinct.

Back before ancient times, in the dark times, before civilisations and societies ever existed, humans needed to survive in groups. In the wilderness, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives, and it is the same for humans. We persist in groups, and the closest group we have is family.

Imagine two human procreating and remaining together to protect their offspring. Over the centuries and millennia, this turns into a societal norm, and the family unit is elevated to a sacred status. Because sex is at the centre of family creation, we hold that sacred too resulting in us developing rules around it to ensure the family remains strong. So, we create such ideas as “no sex before marriage”, “Only sleep with people you love” and adultery.

Have we ruined sex?

We’ve taken a purely physical, pleasurable act and transformed it into a sacred taboo.

My view is a society free from its obsession with the connection between sex and relationships. On the dating or hook-up apps like Grindr, you hear statements such as “I don’t want sex; I want a relationship” as if it is a binary choice. As if they can’t have sex for enjoyment or pleasure whilst searching for love and romance. I believe this obsession is damaging us.

Consider for a moment that sex is just like any other form of exercise. Like running, boxing or fencing and so on. Strip everything else back, and it is only an exercise you practice with a partner or a few or a dozen. You get your heart rate up, work multiple muscles at once, practice to improve and get some enjoyment out of it. You practice it safely as you would with any other form of exercise, which needs safety equipment and you are away.

Now consider searching for a partner where sex isn’t a priority or even really a consideration because it is a sharable hobby with anyone and suddenly you are connecting on an entirely different level with people. Get rid of adultery and jealousy because sex is now a past time with no conditions other than it is consensual, SAFE and you enjoy yourself.

two lovers having sex

Everyone gets better because we are all practising. We are more open resulting in more discussion leading to more experimentation. Honesty and safety become the only rules. Imagine it!

That is my opinion on sex.

It isn’t a big deal. We need weening off the obsessive connection between sex and relationships, and we treat it like any other physical hobby. You have those romantic, loving, committed relationship where your emotions and intellectual connections are made, whilst fucking various partners for the simple act of having fun.

In modern culture, these are known as open relationships, and they are scorned. Personally, I know no one who has been in one or behaved as such. I know people who claim to have been in them, but either turn it secret and “cheat” or get jealous when their partner fucks someone else, therefore nullifying the openness aspect.

I explained all of this to my current boyfriend, (who I have seen for close to two years almost, and we’ve been committed for several months) when we first started meeting up. He understood it on an intellectual level but didn’t necessarily agree with me. I’m committed to him and said I would be exclusive with him for as long as he wanted me to be. But I was honest, and I have told him everything because as he once said to me: “It wouldn’t work otherwise”.

That is why I want us as a society to change the way we think about sex, but with the power of tradition, religion and human’s irrational behaviour, that is unlikely ever to occur. It is worth hoping for though.

Try it for yourself as an intellectual exercise. Imagine stripping sex right back to the bone and consider whether you would like that or the set up we have now?

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